Difficult Senior Behavior: Dealing with Elderly Loved Ones’ Resistance to Care
Caring for senior loved ones may be a challenge, particularly if they are resistant to the idea of being cared for. Whether due to emotional issues, medical concerns, or simply their miles-wide stubborn streak, we, at Serenity Senior Care, have noticed that there are some aging individuals who refuse to accept help from their relatives or even from other people. If your elderly family members are one of them, worry not because we have provided a list of tips on what you can do to decrease their resistance.
First, choose an appropriate time to discuss with your older loved ones about getting a caregiver who can provide senior care in New Jersey. This is important, especially if you believe that they really need to be cared for because talking with them when both of you are more relaxed will make them more receptive to the idea. It’s also easier for you to communicate with each other.
Ten Tips for Dealing with Elderly Loved Ones’ Resistance to Care
- Choose your words wisely: A senior’s attempts to reject care could stem from fear, worry or guilt. Speak with a calm and reassuring voice so that they know you understand their concerns; don’t be condescending or impolite.
- Speak in a calm, reassuring voice:A senior may have forgotten how to function in the world of adults, so don’t be judgmental or put them down. Speak from a place of understanding and compassion. Do not scold or get angry with a loved one’s resistance to care.
- De-escalate your response to resistance: if a loved one resists, interpret it calmly as an effort to adjust to changes in their life and the help they are receiving from you or others.
- Respect moods and feelings: if an elderly loved one you are helping feels depressed, don’t take it personally. Don’t try to solve their problems or “cheer them up” just to get things done with the help they need.
- Don’t let resistance slow you down: if a loved one who is reluctant to cooperate does agree to help, don’t make unnecessary delays or excuses for them.
- Be proactive about helping: if you are not sure how to help a senior loved one who is reluctant to accept help, ask them questions or give them time by yourself to think about their response.
- Be honest with a loved one: if a parent is resistant, express your frustration, anger and disappointment in an appropriate way.
- Understand their fears and concerns: if an elderly loved one is resisting care, understand what they are afraid of: Are they worried for their safety? Are they concerned about money? Do they feel neglected or unloved? Are they worried about their independence or control over their life?
- Be firm but gentle: if a loved one refuses to accept help in the way that you have proposed, don’t give up. Find ways to allow them to help themselves by offering alternative ways, times and places to get assistance.
- Set firm boundaries: if a loved one is unwilling to accept your help, don’t put up with their resistance. Offer no explanations or justifications once they refuse your help.
You can also ask your loved ones if they have certain preferences in mind when it comes to receiving home care services in Bloomfield, New Jersey. They may want to make decisions regarding the type and quality of care that they want to avail of. Remember that asking the right questions will allow you to have productive conversations about their care.
Reasons Why Seniors Resist Care
- Depression:
One common reason for seniors to resist care is depression which even if it’s not diagnosed can be a difficult obstacle for family members and caretakers to get under control. - Financial concerns:
Some seniors are worried about their finances, and don’t want to spend money on anything related to old age like home care or aging in place modifications. - Ignorance:
Seniors that haven’t received much education about their condition or the need for treatment might not see any reason to receive medical care. - Change:
Sometimes seniors resist out of fear of change or because they’re having difficulty accepting that things have changed for them and trying to keep living as they were before is the easiest thing to do. - Memory loss:
With age comes the possibility of memory loss, and if the senior doesn’t remember what has happened to them or if they don’t have any close family available to help them, they’ll just refuse care and go back to their old habits. - Psychological problems:
Lack of mental health is also a common reason why a senior will refuse care. - Dependence:
A senior that has become accustomed to relying on others to do everything for them might be afraid of losing their independence if they accept help. - Pain:
Some seniors are in so much physical pain that they prefer not to get any medical attention because it just hurts too much and it’s easier for them to just deal with the pain instead of dealing with doctors and nurses etc. - Fear:
A senior that doesn’t wish to get care because of perceived negative consequences can be terrified and feel that they are confronting their own mortality when it comes to accepting treatment. - Resentment:
A senior that feels resentful towards their loved ones might refuse care out of resentment.
If the reason behind their resistance is because they fear losing their independence, you can explain to them how getting nursing care in New Jersey will prolong their autonomy instead of shortening it. After all, accepting care will help them remain active, develop and retain new hobbies, and maintain important relationships. If they are skeptical about these benefits, you can suggest a trial run to enable them to test the waters.
Friends and relatives may be able to persuade them to get the care they require. But if they are still resistant, pick your battles and don’t give up. Let the idea sink in before conversing with them again.