The challenge of refusing constant attention to an elderly parent can be especially difficult when they are exceptionally needy. You may feel like you are the primary caregiver and that giving them whatever they want is your responsibility. Providing them with the attention they need may also make you feel guilty.

Regardless of why you feel compelled to give them your undivided attention, you must remember that it is NOT healthy for you or the parent. You need time for yourself, and so does your parent.

Aging parents who need regular attention can be very disruptive to our lives and will almost always strain our relationships with friends and significant others if we allow it to happen. Dealing with this issue can be difficult and stressful, but with a little effort, you can give your mom or dad the proper amount of attention while maintaining a happy and healthy life outside your home.

Why Do Seniors Seek Attention?

We may find it increasingly difficult to support ourselves as we age. We are more likely to feel more vulnerable, which often causes us to require a little extra care from others.

There are many reasons why seniors seek constant attention from their adult children. Some of these reasons include:

1. Loneliness

Seniors are particularly susceptible to loneliness because they often live alone and lose their friends and family members as they age. Because of this, they feel isolated and unimportant, so they reach out more frequently to feel like they’re still a part of society.

Seniors who are overwhelmed by loneliness may reach out to others incessantly and ask for constant emotional support. They may even want someone to stay with them at all times or insist their children come over to check up on them.

As a family caregiver, you must remember that loneliness is not something that can be fixed by providing more attention. Your aging parent needs to develop new hobbies and social outlets for themselves to cope with their loneliness.

2. Physical Limitations

With age comes a loss of strength and flexibility, which can make everyday life increasingly difficult. Your elderly mother or father may get hurt more easily or tire out faster. They may require assistance to perform the things they once did, like dressing, eating, and bathing.

Often, an older adult’s physical decline will leave them feeling like a burden to others. They may become more emotional and needy as they realize their bodies are no longer as strong or healthy as they once were.

The following are some signs that your parent feels physically limited:

Mobility – Difficulty walking, climbing stairs, moving around the house without assistance, or getting out of bed.
Self Care – Difficulty dressing; bathing, brushing their teeth without help, and performing other self-care tasks
Feelings of Helplessness – Feelings of fear and anxiety.
Obligation – Excessive concern that they are a burden to their children.
Moral Fear – Afraid they will be financially or emotionally burdened if they move into assisted living.

3. Memory Problems

Dementia is a common and inevitable part of aging, causing many seniors to lose their memories and cognitive abilities. Quality of life is often greatly reduced when seniors cannot remember friends and family, where they are, or even their names.

It is essential that you try to understand the situation your parent is in and the feelings they are experiencing. Try to think of ways to make them feel cared for that don’t involve giving up your own time.

Look for these signs that your parent is experiencing memory problems:

Memory Loss – Forgetting what they are doing or where they are.
Loss of Knowledge – Language, math, and other reasoning skills begin to deteriorate.
Loss of Commitment – Forgetting necessary appointments or keeping to their daily schedules, making it difficult to plan activities with friends.
Loss of Communication – Difficulty communicating verbally, in writing, or in a written form.

4. Health Problems

Health problems can make us feel particularly vulnerable, causing us to become more emotional and needy. Our emotions may also affect our physical health, causing us to feel emotional or depressed more often.

Your parent may become obsessive and make unhealthy decisions, like not brushing their teeth or wearing deodorant. Some seniors may crave junk food or alcohol, leading to other health problems. You may notice your parent feeling weak or having a lack of energy.

They may also become more impulsive, making poor choices that can harm their health. Any of these symptoms may indicate your parent’s need for your attention.

5. Personality Changes

Changes in personality as we age can also cause us to become emotional and needy. Seniors may start to withdraw from others more often or be more critical of others, which causes them to feel isolated and alone.

Other personality changes may include a loss of self-worth and confidence. This can cause seniors to become more depressed and dependent on others, which is where they reach out for constant support.

6. Fear & Anxiety

Some seniors may choose to reach out to their adult children because they are afraid of being alone. They may not be able to manage their own financial and personal affairs anymore, so reaching out for help allows them to feel cared for without growing up.

Your parent may become more emotional and begin to experience anxiety. They may fear that they are not worthy of having a happy life, so they’re afraid to move on from their current situation.

How to Deal with a Senior Who Needs Constant Attention

It is natural to want to help the people you love as a family caregiver. However, your parents may ask for more attention than you can give them. Dealing with a senior who requires constant attention takes time, patience, and a lot of effort.

1. Set Boundaries

Setting boundaries as a family caregiver will help you find peace in your life. You may not be able to give every part of yourself to caring for your parent. Find a balance that works for you and stick to your limits.

Here is how to set boundaries as a family caregiver:

SOCIAL LIFE:

Make sure to have time for your friends and family. You can see your parent during times that aren’t as busy or important to you.

WORK AND LIVING ARRANGEMENTS:

Make sure you have the schedule flexibility to spend time with your parents. If you’re working, create an arrangement with your boss so you can take time off when necessary.

FINANCIAL ARRANGEMENTS:

Be sure to set financial boundaries, especially around money and finances. Find a family care manager in your area if you need help with your parent’s finances.

MEDICAL ARRANGEMENTS:

If you’re taking care of your parent’s medical needs, have time to take them to their regular doctor visits.

CONSIDER OFF-LIMIT TOPICS:

If you and your parent prefer to take on off-Limit topics, find a way to have healthy conversations about difficult subjects with respect.

2. Seek Assistance

Sometimes we need to seek outside help when caring for a parent. You may not have the time or ability to give your parent the proper care they need. Seeking assistance is usually beneficial for both you and your senior.

You don’t have to do everything on your own. Below are some of the ways you can seek assistance for your parents:

HOME CARE SUBSIDIES:

If you’re caring for a parent with a disability, reaching out to home care agencies in your area may help. Many home care agencies will help seniors with personal and medical care and assist with transportation to appointments and social activities. These services can be expensive, but they are often covered by Medicare or other insurance plans and subsidies.

HOME CARE MANAGERS:

You can also hire someone from a home care agency to help you with your parent’s care. Some managers specialize in seniors’ needs and can assist with their senior’s health care, move them around the house, or provide companionship. Also, you may try hiring a nurse or companion to help you care for your parent.

CAREGIVER SUPPORT GROUPS:

If you’re caring for a senior, joining a caregiver support group can help you meet people who understand your situation and support each other. You can also learn about warning signs of memory loss, what to look for in a home care agency, and much more.

There are many ways to find help when caring for a senior. Remember that you don’t have to do it all by yourself.

3. Daily Care

When caring for a parent who needs constant attention, it’s important to find ways to help make their life a little easier. Check out these tips and tricks on how you can make your parent’s life a little easier while they get the care they need.

Daily Routine:

You can participate in some daily routines with your senior loved ones that will help them stay positive and happy.

Exercise:

Exercise can be a great way to help seniors stay healthy. Find ways to exercise your parent’s body and ensure they are getting enough rest to stay healthy.

Nutrition:

When caring for seniors, ensure they take their medications and eat properly, without too many unhealthy choices. Get them the nutrition they need to stay healthy and energized throughout the day.

Socialization:

Seniors enjoy social activities, so think of ways you can help your parent meet new people and get out more often. You can take them to the movies or on a trip to a nearby park. You may want to join them in an activity like golf or bowling.

Final Thoughts

Caring for a parent who needs constant attention can be draining, but it is possible. You need to know that you are not alone and that many resources are available.

Along with these tips, you will need to work with the professionals in your area that can help you care for a senior. Find someone who understands your situation, and together you can find ways to care for your parent that are both satisfying and healthy.

We at Serenity Senior Care believe in the importance of dignified, respectful, and compassionate senior care in your life. We are proud to be a part of this community because we know how important it is to look after our older loved ones. Our skilled caregivers can work with seniors who may have memory loss or lack mobility.

As a top assisted living facility in Bloomfield, New Jersey, we specialize in providing the highest quality care for seniors.

Don’t hesitate to call us if you have any questions about our services. We’re happy to help.

What You Should Do When Your Elderly Mother Wants Constant Attention