How to Talk With Your Elderly Loved One About End Of Life Planning
End of life planning is the process of deciding and documenting what you want to happen at the end of your life. It includes decisions such as where you would like to spend your final days, how much control over your life you want during those last few days, and who will be in charge of making those decisions for you if you cannot.
People who should consider an end of life plan are anyone over 70. They should have information about what they would like their final days to look like written down somewhere. Elderly individuals with chronic illnesses, memory problems, and a terminal illness may want to consider having this written down sooner.
Family members find it hard to talk about end of life planning with their elderly loved ones as they think it might be too hard and scary. But the truth is, having this conversation early on will make the entire process easier and more familiar to you two. You can also ask them to clarify things for you if you feel unsure.
How to Approach End Of Life Planning With Your Elderly Loved One?
Here are the essential things that can help you approach end of life planning with your elderly in the right way.
- Be Understanding and Empathetic (but Still Direct About Issues) – Even if it’s hard to talk about these things, remember that your elderly loved one is experiencing the same emotions as you. However, they might not express them as clearly as you do. During the conversation, try to be patient and accepting of their feelings.
- Ask Open Questions – It’s common for people to feel highly uncomfortable when having this kind of conversation. Starting with an open-ended question will show your elderly loved one that you want to learn more about their values and wishes without making them too stressed out about it. Let your loved one share freely and openly his thoughts and feelings with you. You can ask something like, “What do you hope happens to you?” or “Is there a particular thing that bothers you a lot?”. Expressing his thoughts on the subject will help him work through the process.
- Stay Calm and Relaxed – The more stressed out your elderly loved one feels, the harder it will be for him to talk. Try to stay calm and not irritate them. Make sure that you do it without judgment or criticism. Just listen carefully and let him express things that he wants to say.
- Be Respectful – Respect your elderly loved one’s lifestyle, values, culture, and faith. However, do not force any opinions on them. End of life planning is a decision that they have to make on their terms. Just make sure to help them make the right decision for themselves by making sure they are well informed on what’s happening or what can happen next.
The End Of Life Planning Topics
Older adults often find it hard to talk about their health issues, and they might avoid the topic altogether. But it doesn’t mean that you should never bring these issues up. On the contrary, it can help your loved one plan ahead for his future and prepare for what’s to come.
1. Long-Term Care
Long-Term Care is the most problematic subject to tackle as it involves a lot of money and medical issues, which both of you should be sensitive about. In addition, it might be hard to talk about long-term care as your elderly loved one might already feel as if he is a burden to you. So to keep you or your aging loved one from becoming overwhelmed, consider an approach based on your loved one’s changing needs.
Think about situations that could occur, such as your loved ones’ giving up the keys to their house or having to move in with someone else. Or the changing health situation and the need for the care they might require in the future.
Think about situations that could occur, such as your loved ones’ giving up the keys or having to move in with someone else. Or the changing health situation and the need for the care they might require in the future. Then, brainstorm valuable services they would need, such as companionship support and transportation assistance. Depending on your loved ones’ circumstances, needs, and capabilities, they may need one service or multiple.
Home Care Services
Home Care Services will help your elderly loved ones stay in the comfort and familiarity of their own home. It also allows them to live independently and make their own decisions. The benefit of home care services is the support it provides to your elderly loved one in maintaining their independence.
The fundamental objective is to coordinate with your parent’s caregivers, doctors, family members, and other concerned parties to achieve the desired level of services to help them stay healthy and independent at home for as long as possible.
Home care services like in Serenity Senior Care can be customized to meet your aging parent’s needs. It can be in companionship, assistance in administering medications and help with everyday activities such as bathing and dressing. Home care aides also provide transportation to and from doctor visits.
2. Hospitalization
If your aging loved one needs to be admitted for a medical condition and hospitalized, you should discuss the possible options with them as early as possible. You can help them choose the right hospital that fits their needs and the best course of action.
3. Advance Health Care Directive (Living Will and Power of Attorney)
If your elderly parent has not already prepared for this, you should encourage him to do so. The documents serve as a vital tool in helping someone protect their interests and ensure their wishes are carried out after they can no longer make those wishes themselves.
4. Funeral and Burial
It might be one of the hardest discussions to have with your parent or loved one. But it is still very important. You should make them aware of the costs associated with funeral arrangements and how to make these decisions well in advance of any possible need for burial services.
You can also ask them about their favorite songs, books, relatives, events, etc., that they would like included in their funeral or memorial service or any other kind of celebration they would want to have after their death.
Final Thoughts
End of life planning is a necessary step in preserving the well-being of your elderly loved one. It should start with getting to know your loved ones’ wishes and goals to make sure they align with your own. Remember that the process of end of life planning may take time, but it will make things easier for you two.
Remember that this process does not have to be done alone. A family member, friend, or relative can be useful in offering suggestions on what to do. A home care agency, facility, and doctors will provide resources and support for you two as you discuss these topics. These professionals can help break up the process of difficult topics so that you two can easily address them together.
Serenity Senior Care is a premier home care agency offering a range of home care services in New Jersey. It is one of the country’s most established companies that provide senior citizens’ assistance in the comfort of their homes. The company has decades of experience in supporting older adults with various levels of care. The comprehensive services provided would allow the client to remain independent and also free from stress. It caters to all types of client needs, including hospital care, home health care, and senior adult companionship.
For more information about Serenity Senior Care’s services, you can visit our website or call us at 973-338-0124. You may also send your inquiries to info@serenity-senior-care.com.